Snape's Cousin of DOOM
by Balinor88
Summary: Snape has lost Lily to the Marauders and they are driving him crazy. So he owls his cousin Jess for advice. She comes and throughs those Marauders for a loop. After all who said they could harm her family?
1. Chapter 1

*I got this Idea from 40 ways to tick off the marauders on Youtube.

*I do not own Harry Potter.

Snape's Cousin Visit of DOOM!

**Take's place after Snape gets hung upside down and proceeds to call Lily a Mudblood, after she tries to help him.**

Severus Snape was hiding in an alcove near the owlery furiously writing to his female cousin Jess for advice.

Dear Jess,

Hi! Um...how should I say this? Your cousin (me) is a complete idiot. I...was being picked on by the marauders again. They hung me upside down, and well I was wearing my old clothes. My Father had burned my new ones I got last year and well I didn't have the time or money to replace them yet. So it was very humiliating. Lily came to my defense when I got down. But I was so ashamed she had seen me like that, and that I needed to be defended in the first place by the girl I love...I mean I should be defending her! In any case I was stupid and called her a mudblood. I didn't mean it, but she won't let me explain! Could you give me advice? I mean...I really miss her. She's my only friend other then you of course. I...I...I just don't know what to do.

Your idiot cousin,

Severus Snape

Severus rolled up the parchment and quickly located an Owl that was up to flying his message to Jess in the states. That done he holed up in the library looking at potion books. Surprizingly the next day the Headmaster Dumbledore sent a message via owl to Severus that said:

Dear Severus Snape,

I would like to talk to you after breakfast at 8 o'clock.

Sincerely,

Headmaster Dumbledore

PS I like peppermint patties.

After breakfast Severus walked slowly to the Headmaster's office, slowly because this way he avoided Jame's and his friends, plus he would arrive on time. And so after scowling at the gargoyal and hissing out peppermint patties. He arrived in the office and was waved to a seat.

"Lemon Drop?" Albus asked

"No thank-you, Headmaster." he declined.

"Well I suppose you are wondering what I called you here for?" the headmaster asked his eyes twinkling like mad.

Severus opted to stay silent and raised an eyebrow and inclined his head slightly. Albus chuckled.

"I see you will be a great teacher one day. Well to proceed...I received an owl from your cousin Jess. She has asked to transfer to Hogwarts and take her Owls and Newt testing here. Our rune and arithmancy program can't be beat, and she wants to go into those particular fields. It is rare that a student transfers so late in the year, but she assures me that if you were to show her around she would be sure to adapt quickly to the new atmosphere. So provided you agree to show her around, I will allow her to transfer." Finished Dumbledore.

"Yes!"shouted Severus. He didn't know for sure what she was up to, but it would be great just to have someone to talk to. Someone who understood him. Someone who would always have his back, no matter what.

The headmaster's eyes twinkled like a disco ball on top speed. "Jess Prince. If you would come here please." he called. A woman with long black striaght hair and pale skin and coal black eyes enter from a side door.

"Severus!" she called at the same time he yelled "Jess!" and the two cousins hugged.

"Well, I see that you two getting along won't be a problem. Miss Jess we will have to sort you into a house at lunch time. So until then, why don't you two catch up?"

Severus nodded and smiling a real smile since Lily had stopped being his friend lead Jess out of the headmaster's office.

"Jess I can't believe your here!"

"Well I've been planning it ever since you told me about those jerks. And I wanted to meet this girl that decided you were special enough to stay friends with you even after you ended up in different houses. When I got your letter yesterday I was already halfway here. So I just stepped it up a little. Now I do believe I will end up in Gryffindor, so don't be mad. It'll work out for the best."

"You've a got a plan." he accused.

Jess smiled up at him impishly, "Of course I do! And you will help me. I just need to meet these marauders you've told me so much about and hopefully I can dig up some dirt on them."

"You sure you won't end up in Slytherin? That is awfully cunning of you."

"I'm only cunning when it comes to protecting my favorite people. And you are the only one on that list so far. I'm also loyal to a fault so the real danger is me ending up in Hufflepuff. Then again I did come here on practically a whim. So that is Gryffindorish."

"You also planned it all out. That is a trait of Ravenclaw. So really you could end up in any of the houses."

"To true. So cross your fingers and hope I get into Gryffindor. That is where I need to be to do the most...damage to those marauders who dared to harm my family. And don't you dare say they didn't harm you Severus! They are keeping everyone away from you! I bet anyone who wanted to be friends with you (aside from Lily) was pranked or bullied into staying away! Well do you think otherwise?"

"No. You are right. The only reason they didn't bother Lily is because James likes her." Severus said sadly.

"Well cheer up. Your about to get even. However unlike their pranks ours will be harmless. No need to sink to their level."

"Right." Severus gave Jess a quick hug and showed her how to navigate the castle and trick staircases and doors. He also introduced her to the ghosts. Finally it was lunch time and Jess fallowed Severus into the great hall and sat beside him. They were at the end of the table away from the other Slytherins who looked curiously at Jess, but declined to get to know her as she was by Severus who they deemed was making a mockery out of them by being friends with a mudblood and getting beat up regularly by Gryffindors. They caught the eye of the marauders as well, but because the headmaster was there they decided to pin Snape down after lunch for questioning. Plus they needed to get back to him for that mudblood comment he made about Lily. Towards the end of lunch the Headmaster stood and commanded the attention of the students.

"Attention, everyone. Before we go on about our day I wanted to annouce that we have a new student. She is transferring into sixth year. Her name is Jess Prince. My dear if you would be so kind as to join me up here?"

Jess stood and gave Severus a hug, before joining the headmaster. 'Definitely a Slytherin.' The Marauders thought. Dumbledore motioned McGonagall to bring out the stool and sorting hat. Jess sat on the stool and the hat barely touched her head when it roared "GRYFFINDOR!". Jess took of the hat genitally and handed it to McGonagall blew a kiss to Severus who was loudly cheering for his cousin along with a slight smattering from the Gryffindor table. The Marauders where shocked. Jess sat down by Lily who she had seen a picture of from Severus and offered her hand saying, "Hi! I'm Jess Prince, but you already know that. I hope we can be good friends!"

"Sure!" Lily smiled, "Hey how do you know Severus? He was cheering pretty loudly for you, even though you were a Gryffindor."

"Of course he was! We are cousins. I lived in America, though for most of my life. Severus is my only family, and I am his. He explained the housing system to me, and well we discussed where I might end up. He was very understanding when I asked what if I ended up in Gryffindor? He said so what? A lion and a snake can be friends he knew that from first hand experience. I asked him who his friend was and he said it didn't matter, she hates him now. But they were friends for little over five years so I don't have to worry. Plus family looks out for family."

Lily looked a little sad that Severus thought she hated him. Then again she hasn't talk to him since he called her a mudblood. She thought it would be safer for him, if their friendship ended after all he was in the Dark Lord's most loyal house. He could get killed.

"That's nice, that he said that. Oh! How rude of me I'm Lily Evens. And these guys are James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter." Lily pointed at each of the marauders and Jess shook their hands in turn. She grinned when she got a reading. _So a Stag, a werewolf, a grim, and a rat. This will be fun. _"Nice to meet you! I hope we will be good friends!" She was smiling so disarmingly that the marauders gulped and said, "Sure. Love to."

They then left the lunch room. "Well see you all later! I don't have my scheldule yet and Headmaster Dumbledore gave Severus the day off to help me find my way around!" Jess spoke quickly and bubbly, bouncing a little as she walked. "Plus we have to go to Diagon Alley. I need to get my school supplies."

Lily smiled at the other girl and said, "Well have fun with your cousin. Oh the password for our common room is Imdugud."

Jess nodded and repeated the word to show Lily she got it. Then Severus came up to the group.

"Jess! I got the list of books you need from Professor Dumbledore. We can use the floo in hi office to go to Diagon Alley." Severus smiled broadly. The Marauders were quite taken aback, they didn't know Severus could smile. Lily had tensed but relaxed when she saw how happy Severus was about his cousin being here. Jess and Severus surprised everyone again when, Jess gave a whoop a jumped wrapping her arms around Severus's neck and her legs around his waist. Severus laughing spun her around a few times, before setting her down and holding her hand led her away. Jess gave a quick wave to the others and away they went.

_I don't think I ever saw Severus as happy as that. He must really love his cousin._ Lily thought.

The marauders however were nervous when they saw the great comradeship between the two cousins. Something told them, that is Jess knew or found out about the trouble they had caused Severus they were in serious trouble.

How very right they were.

*Okay this is only going to be two chapters. Possible three. I'm not going to say what Jess and Severus did and got and talked about in Diagon Alley. Jess is a kind of seer, but she is still a regular witch. Her only special power is that when she has skin contact with someone, like a handshake, she can tell if they can become an animal or shapeshift. She won't tell however. She just uses that info to her best interest. In this case getting even with those who hurt her cousin. Please Review!


	2. Chapter 2

*I do not own Harry Potter. I do own Jess.

A Marauders Nightmare

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" a scream tore through Gryffindor tower early in the morning a week after Jess had arrived. The common room flooded with people wanting to know what the screams and yells of pain were coming from. Lily and Jess were standing near the boy's staircase, Jess was calmly sipping tea, while Lily debated about going up there, since she was a perfect. Finally four sixth year boys stumbled down the stairs. They had mouse traps attached to there clothes, and hair. Peter was the worst off. Some were sticky mouse traps others were the snap kind. The others had the sticky ones, but Peter it seemed had a ton of snapped ones on.

"Who!" James began only to be interrupted by Jess, "Oh sorry. My bad, its just that I saw a rat or mouse around here a lot, and well I fallowed it to your rooms. So I set up a lot of traps. You know..to catch it. You guys have been studying so hard lately that I didn't want to wake you. I'm sorry. I thought I had placed them in any place where a rat might get caught. I forgot you guys might get caught instead. So...Did it work? I...I mean," Jess hastily added while looking absolutely miserable about getting the guys caught in the traps, "Did any of them catch a rat?"

Peter was looking ill, and the others were slightly horrified that the traps had been ment to caught Peter in rat form, because he obviously was the rat Jess was referring to and eyed him in concern. Peter looking greenish answered, "Ah no afraid not." Jess looking sad and rather put out said, "Oh, well in that case here." she handed him a bunch of rat poison, "Since the traps are obviously not a good idea, could you spread that around for me? Maybe the rat will eat it and die a painful and slow death." she piped cheerily. Peter turned white and fainted. The other three marauders looked ill now to.

"Oh no!" cried Jess, "We should get him to the school nurse!" The three boys hurriedly agreed and rushed off with Peter.

Another week later.

"Hey guys!" a cheerful voice rang out. James, Lily, Peter, and Remus were relaxing by the lake when Severus and Jess walked up. Jess had a big black dog on a leash. James, Peter and Remus felt there eyes widen, no no no it couldn't be.

"I was looking for Severus cause I needed help with creating a dog nip potion, you know sort of like cat nip, only for dogs. And well he was pinned down by this guy here, and well I happened to have a leash and collar and muzzle, cause I was going to go to the pound later today and get a dog to you know experiment on and such. And well I tackled the dog and Severus here help me wrangle it! I think I will call it Sirius!"

The marauders choked, and James asked in a strangled voice, "Why?"

"Oh that's easy! Sirius is the dog star! Plus this black beauty here reminds me of Sirius! He does act like a lovable stray you know. Hey where is Sirius? I want to show him his counterpart."

"I'll go look!" Remus and Peter and James all said quickly.

"Okay! Hey Lily lets teach Sirius here how to play fetch and to sit and roll over and play dead! Oh yeah!" turning quickly to the marauders before they left to 'find' Sirius Jess asked, "Could you guys also make an appointment with the vet to get Sirius here fix? The less hormones he has the easier it will be to teach him some new tricks!" 

Sirius gave a yelp and his eyes rolled up into his head and he fainted. "Hey! Look! He learned a trick! He's playing dead! Oh, oh whose a good boy? Whose a good boy? Yes you are, yes you are a good boy!" Jess's grip on the leash loosened and Remus noticed, so thinking quickly he pulled his wand out and did the water spell. Sirius woke with a jerk, and took off running to avoid his fate of getting shudder 'fixed.'

"Oh no! Severus! He's getting away!" cried Jess, her eyes filling with tears, "There goes my project. He was perfect to!"

Severus hugged her saying, "There, there. Besides I hate to tell you but two of the ingredients for your dog nip potion can not be added together in any way shape or form. At least not without blowing the potions lab sky high."

Jess nodded and the marauders breathed a sigh of relief. Lily spoke up, "Jess? If it makes you feel better I uh took a picture of Sirius. If you want we could show it to Sirius so he can see his doggy counterpart."

Jess beamed and nodded.

Two weeks later, breakfast time.

"Lily! Guys! After breakfast since its Saturday lets go out to the area by the game keepers hut! Severus and I want to show you something and get your opinion!" Jess chattered at a fast rate, eyes shining brightly. They agreed, curious. After Breakfast was finished, Jess bounced over to Severus and then back to the group. "Its all set up! So lets go!" and away she went skipping and humming with her arm looped through her cousins and he too joined her skipping and humming. It was an odd sight to say the least. And James felt a chill run down his spine.

Once there Severus left to go man the machine Jess explained. She then faced the four marauders and Lily and began, "You know its almost time! Actually it officially starts tomorrow! Oh I can't wait!"

"What starts tomorrow?" asked Lily.

"Hunting Season! Specifically Deer Season!" Jess exclaimed happily, not noticing James pale slightly and the other three boys to edge slightly closer to him. Jess ranted on, "I got a license and everything! Its for a buck though. No Does. I just can't get over the fact that they, the Does that is, may be mommies! Oh and the best news yet Professor Dumbledore said there was a real beauty of a buck here, so if I can shoot it I can have it he said. I just have to decide if I want to kill it using a rifle or a bow. And that is where you guys come in. You need to tell me which I'm better at!" Jess bubbled. James got paler with every sentence and the other three were not much better.

"Okay!" smiled Lily.

"Okay! Severus! Lets play William Tell first! One shot only!" Jess hollered. The boys and Lily turned to see Severus standing with an Apple on his head a tree at his back. Lily asked nervously, "Is that a good Idea? What if you aim to low?"

"Oh no worries! Severus and I do this all the time during summer. Well...okay maybe not all the time, at least not with Severus. Usually it's a dummy, and its a couple of inches shorter then Severus. But we discussed before hand. So its fine." Jess grinned and winked at the boys. Lily looked concerned. Jess grabbed her bow and an arrow and took aim. She let it fly. Lily screamed! Thunk. The apple and arrow thudded into the tree behind Severus. Lily caught her breath still white faced. Severus waved, and she ran over yelling, "You idiot! You could have been killed what where you thinking?"

Jess waited as Lily tackled Severus to the ground and pounded on his chest. "Hey! Lily! Let him up. He still has to send up the clay pigeons. You can help him if you want!" Lily let him up and helped him load the clay pigeons. Jess turned around to look at the guys after picking up her rifle. James was still pale and so were the others, hoping to reassure them she said, "Severus is fine. See? No blood, no arrow sticking out of him or anything. So watch this and give me your opinion on what I should use for deer season." Turning back, she hollered, "PULL!" and three clay pigeons were shot into the air. Jess fired three shots rapidly and to the others behind her it looked like with no aim. All three shots however found there marks. And turning to grin at them and ask what they thought, Jess found a white faced Sirius and Remus holding up a knocked out James. Peter was looking green.

"Oh dear! You should have told me breakfast wasn't agreeing with you! Lily Severus! I'm going with the guys to the the school nurse looks like they have food poisoning!" Jess yelled. Then she took off with the guys to see the nurse.

A Few Days Later

"Guys? I would like to talk to you privately if I may?" Asked Jess softly.

Remus nodded for them. The other three marauders were still slightly afraid of Jess after all that has happened concerning their animal forms. Jess motioned for them to fallow her into an empty classroom, and then proceed to lock the door and ward it against eavesdroppers.

Then pacing away from them a little bit and then back and forth nervously she spoke, "I know what you are."

Their eyes narrowed and they advanced on her. She stood still and lifted her chin. "Severus is my cousin. He told me you were making his life miserable. You took away his only friend. You almost cost me my only family! So back off!" she ordered. They did, and she drew a breath. "I will explain. Family takes care of family. Yes my family is still alive, but I am disowned. Severus is the only one who never turned his back on me. In fact he did everything to help me. Including sending me to America to keep me from getting killed. My grandfather however is the head of the Prince family and the reason I still bear the Prince name. He named me his heir and disowned the rest of the family. Except for Severus."

Remus ventured a tentive question, "Why did they disown you?"

"I got bit, but a werewolf."Jess answered, "And I know you did too. Greyback sound familiar?"

Remus nodded his eyes glowing gold like Jess's own eyes were at the moment. Jess paused then plunged on, "Severus makes me a potion that helps keep the wolf under control during the full moon. He could do the same for you. You just have ask him. He know already. And I would like to point out that he hasn't said anything yet. Maybe we could keep each other company this Saturday?"Jess asked timidly.

Remus smiled warmly, "I would like that."

Jess smiled back. "Oh and one more thing. Truce?"

The marauders sighed in defeat, "Truce. You play dirty."

"Of course I do. It was my family you threatened."

The End.

*Well just two chapters after all. So what do you think? Like it? Hate it?


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